id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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