dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Randomize
