they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i wish my penis had a tongue
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
