Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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