weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
