I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Found your dick twin last night
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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