How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
