remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
