Tell her she can't have a vagina
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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