are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
