But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
