I've blown a few things in my day
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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