Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I need to stop coming to work sober
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
