I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
