I just cut my nipple shaving
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
