He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
