i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
