Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
