I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Randomize
