WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
