we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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