It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
