standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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