And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
