i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
