Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
