If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
