Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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