remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
