Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
