omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
