Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
don't judge my taste in strippers
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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