he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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