Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
