I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
