Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
