i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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