the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
