Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Swine flu is the new snow day.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
You've changed since you got that strap on
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
