what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
