you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
