there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Acid is not a monday night drug
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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