Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
do herpes really smell.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
