um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
