I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
In other news, I just burned my penis
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
