my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
