literally had 100 drinks last night.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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