it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
