Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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