And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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