He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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