Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
